I loved Kelly’s eulogy for his dad, Holiday Hayley. I thought it was worth putting on the blog for sharing and remembering.
As a son, this may be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Holiday would say, “There’s just some things you gotta do.” So here I am.
My dad Holiday Hayley was a simple man. I don’t mean he wasn’t smart. I mean he focused on the simple things of life. Anyone who knew Holiday knows those simple things were:
- His relationship with the Lord
- His family
- Friends and church family
- The farm
Holiday changed my life, both on this earth and for eternity. He loved me as family and officially made me part of his family by adopting me. But more importantly, he shared his relationship with the Lord with me, and on his behalf, I’d like to share that with you.
Holiday’s relationship with the Lord was the most important thing to him. He had a simple, childlike faith which is what Jesus Himself said we should have. What the Lord told him to do, he did. What the Lord promised to him, he believed as true. How the Lord modeled a life well lived, he tried to follow.
In the 40 years Holiday was in my life, I never heard him say, “I believe in God.” He may have said that during his lifetime to someone, just never in front of me. But I heard Holiday talk about his relationship with the Lord many times. From Holiday I learned the difference between having a relationship with someone and simply believing someone existed. Holiday made sure I understood that while I might know who God was, if I didn’t open up myself to walking daily with the Lord, I would not have a relationship that had any effect on me. He taught me we were created for relationship by telling me the story of God creating Adam and Eve, and how they would walk together in the garden. He told me that our salvation was all about a relationship with God.
Holiday was not a master of scriptural studies or of deeper theological thinking. He often said “Well I don’t know about all that.” He also didn’t think he was perfect. We’ve all heard him say “I’m sorry” more than once.
What Holiday did know was that none of those things were required for his salvation. All God ever asked for was Holiday and all of Holiday’s very big heart.
Through his faith, Holiday taught me how a relationship changes us. When we have a relationship with God as Holiday did, our lives and the lives of all of the people around us are changed because of what God does through us and the changing of our perspective to match God’s perspective. Holiday definitely saw the world from God’s perspective, not his own. And how many lives do we all know that were affected by the relationship Holiday had with the Lord?
You know, Holiday preferred doing over sitting and reading, but he encouraged me to learn the Bible and understand God’s truths and we’d talk about our favorite Bible verses. Thanks to Holiday I quickly learned that God did what only He could do for us, providing the means of salvation. Here’s what Holiday taught me: God came to earth Himself, lived in perfection among us so that He could be a pure and clean sacrifice, died at the hands of men for nothing He did wrong, so that He could pay the penalty of the sins of the world. God raised Jesus from the dead, defeating sin and death, making a way for us to regain what Adam and Eve lost in the Garden, the ability to walk with the Lord. This is the Gospel, as Holiday helped me understand and what I believe today.
You may not realize, when my mother married Holiday, I was “loster than last years’ Easter egg.” My father had walked out of my life. He decided not to have a relationship with me, given what he would have to sacrifice to do so. I knew this and had a poor view of my worth and purpose in life.
Suddenly I was part of a new family. The Hayley/Berryman family would have more impact on my life than I could ever imagine, and in ways I would not know until many years later. This family was strange, unlike any family I had known. They had stories of amazing things happening due to their relationship with the Lord. And they’d say things like, “That was God. That happens.” It was like a goofy neighbor they were talking about, “That’s just Him! You know God!” This family made sure I had every chance to know Him too. Holiday, Hoyt and Mary Love were instrumental in my exposure to the Gospel. The family made sure I went to youth camp, where I heard the Gospel for the first time, grabbed on with both hands, and never let go. But God did something only He could do – He clearly showed me the hand of God that is present in a family with a legacy of faith. While Holiday made sure I learned the Gospel, Hoyt and Mary Love founded the church where my wife Shannah’s parents met and married, and where she learned and accepted the Gospel. Because of Hoyt and Mary Love’s mission work in Kenya, I had courage to talk to a girl at work who had just come back from doing mission work in Kenya. That girl was Shannah, and we’ve been married now for 22 years.
That is a legacy of faith. And like the Hayley-Berrymans would say: That was God. That happens. Since I can’t say it again to my dad Holiday, I want to say thank you, Mary Love, for the way your family lives in relationship with God and for making me part of your family.
Here’s another example. A few years after I became a Christian, I was packing to go to church camp. Holiday stopped me and offered his Bible for me to take with me. The Bible was actually his daddy’s, and had his name on it: Holiday Hayley (not Holiday Hayley, Jr). Plus, I already had my own Bible – I didn’t need his, but as a teenager I thought it was a cool gift so I packed it my bag. Our cabin leader was a man named Randy. During devotional time one evening, he shared his testimony. He became a Christian one night at camp, when he was hiding away in his bunk because he felt like he didn’t belong. A man found him in the cabin, pulled out a Bible and shared the Gospel. That man’s name? Holiday Hayley. I pulled out the Bible Holiday had unexpectedly given me and showed it to him. Isn’t it wonderful how God affirmed Randy’s faith and mine, as a young man and a young believer? When I told Holiday that story. He cried. “That’s my daddy! Thank you for telling that story! I can’t tell you the number of boys he led to the Lord.” The good thing about Holiday was I could tell him a joke or a story and wait a year and tell it again. It made it easier to not have to come up with as much conversational material that way. I told someone that story in front of Holiday several years later. He cried. “That’s my daddy! Thank you for telling that story!”
There are some stories they say you should not tell in church. But we are not in church. Holiday used to tell me stories about his dad and say, “I would not tell this in church.” But see, Holiday and his dad were not perfect. Never claimed to be. But they had a relationship with the Lord. So here is a funny story about Holiday. We took my parents to Ireland. You know the Irish – they like their Guinness. It’s not the same anywhere in the world. When we would stop at a pub to eat, I would order one. Holiday asked, “You reckon I ought to get me one of those?” He decided yes and after tasting it said, “Kelly my boy, that’s pretty good.” From then on, at supper he would say “I think I will have myself another one of those Genesis.” You know how he would say words sometimes. My favorite was how he’d mix up flustered and frustrated, and just say flustrated. At our final stop, he said, “You reckon I oughta get me another Genesis?” I told him if he had too many Genesis he might have a Revelation. I share this because I figured Holiday wouldn’t want us to leave today without a good old fashioned church story, covering Genesis to Revelation.
In closing, while I was abandoned by my biological dad, I am now caring for him in a memory care facility because he has no one and I know it’s what Holiday would want me to do. There wasn’t a person around that Holiday wouldn’t help if they needed it. And Holiday called me often this year encouraging me to continue helping and loving someone who didn’t love me. Holiday was the dad I needed and I’m so glad God made us a family.
I was abandoned by one father. Thanks to Holiday, I was adopted by two fathers – physically and spiritually. I can’t think of a better legacy for a man to receive from his dad. I’m going to miss him.