Have you ever had a year that got out of control?
If not, congratulations. If so, then you know how it feels.
2023 was supposed to be a quiet year. A year to focus on basics and simplicity. While I’ve definitely focused on the basics, it has not been simple. In fact, I think this year has felt like All The Things, All The Time, All At Once.
Lots and lots of running. (That was planned.)
Lots and lots of extra obligations. (That was not planned.)
In October I realized I hadn’t written anything on this blog since mid-March – not even a recipe. I hadn’t sat around the house, wasting time, since April. The year had become one big to-do list and the one thing missing on the to do’s was stopping to do nothing.
I thought about all of this in October when life gave me a giant pause: After three years of avoiding it, Kelly and I both caught COVID. There’s nothing like four days of feeling unwell, wrapped into four weeks of no energy to give you plenty of time to think.
And thinking I did. I thought about how nonsensical social media can be – so I purged dead “friendships,” brand likes and page follows. I thought about dead filing this blog (I haven’t…yet). I thought about how very much I just wanted to stay at home for a while. This latter item filled me with a bit of despair, since I realized I still had work-related travel, and evening and weekend obligations through November 19.
“Beginning November 20th,” I told Kelly, “we are slowing down.”
By we, I actually meant me.
Do you know how hard it is to slow down? When you get used to doing, the absence of things to do spurs a mental urge to fill the empty space with something. It’s a far harder choice to sit in a quiet room, to type a blog post, to go for a 5-mile slow walk, or to decline an invitation to go out.
I’m on day four of my slow down and it’s killing me. It’s also refreshing. The hard is in the starting; the benefit will come from continuing.
On my 5-mile slow walk this afternoon I thought about the work I really need to do while on a long holiday break. (Spoiler alert: I probably am not going to do it.) I also thought about next year, and how we’ll be at the end of some long-term goals (50 states run! Certification course complete!). I thought about how my mind is so very full of things and it’s going to take me a bit of time to learn to let it empty out so I can allow for needed white space and creative inspiration.
Life has a way of escalating quickly. Slowing it down takes far longer, more intention and, in some ways, more discipline.
Here’s to a slower final six weeks of 2023 and to planting seeds for whatever comes next.