A bit of a bummer – the lab results came back and the cancer was a more widespread than my doctor thought. Thursday afternoon Dr. Q’s office called to say there was still evidence of cancer cells at the edge of the tissue she removed over a week ago.
The end result, it seems, is my inch-and-a-half scar will become a little (I’m feeling hopeful by using the word “Little”) larger.
That’s definitely a bummer.
My current stitches will be removed next Friday (May 20). I’m scheduled for the next removal two weeks later (June 3).
***
Here’s the crazy thing: I’ve definitely been bummed out about this in a big way. Like way more down in spirit about this than the original diagnosis. I guess I felt hopeful that I would be one-and-done with the shoulder. Go in, get it removed, heal from the procedure and go on about my sunscreen-lathered way. And that’s just not what’s in the cards for me at this time.
To be clear: This still isn’t a big deal. It’s still just an outpatient surgery (unfortunately cutting through partially-healed scar tissue). No chemo. Just another 10 days of stitches and Kelly carrying everything, followed by another 2-3 weeks of healing.
So why don’t my emotions understand?
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I believe there’s a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8), so it’s ok to want to weep and it’s ok to mourn.
I also believe we’re to be joyful in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), because our ultimate joy and peace are not found in our circumstances.
I also believe that there’s no point in worrying because my worrying doesn’t change my reality (Matthew 6:25-34), except maybe to make it more unbearable.
All I can do in the moment is pray about it.
And if you are a person who prays, I would appreciate specific prayers of encouragement so I can get past my downcast spirit and that I don’t wear Kelly down with it as well.
Sending you healing thoughts and positive vibes!
Praying for you, my friend.
When I had cancer, a wise college student wrote me these words of encouragement:
“One day you will look back at this whole experience and laugh because you will realize how bad it could have been.”
Shannah, you are certainly entitled to be bummed. But you are such a strong person, full of faith, love and compassion. You will get through this and one day very soon, it will be nothing more than a tiny blip on the radar screen of life.
You are surrounded by people who love you. There is no better medicine than having their support and staying positive, which I know you will.
You are always in our prayers!
Steve
Very specific prayers being lifted up for you!
Praying for you. Do make sure they get it all. I had a basal cell removed and two years later removed from the same spot again. “Trust in the Lord, always”