When The Boy had his Devastating Injury, I realized something important: I had no emotional reserves left.
It’s been a pretty not-great year – specifically a not-great summer on – which means a lot of coping resources have been deployed to survive.
Then an accident comes along and knocks everything off-kilter and that’s when you realize that you’ve not just been using coping resources. You’ve been living off of reserves and there’s nothing much left to deal with the new stress.
So you cry. You cry in the car, in the shower, in the closet, in the conference room at work – crying anywhere you can to not make anyone else in the house cry (by the way – this is ineffective).
Sometime in the middle of cry #2,546, you determine that you are not going to do this alone. And by “alone,” I mean relying on the people sharing your home to help you through.
New motto: I will say yes if someone asks if they can help.
If you know me, you’ll know this is Big Deal.
And somehow in the midst of saying yes, we’ve had some pretty amazing things happen that are Big Deal.
- We have really great friends.
- A friend loaned us a leaf vacuum that allowed a one-handed man and his wife to tackle leaves together without having to hire out.
- A friend brought us dinner, breakfast and plastic bags and sports tape to help The Boy shower.
- A friend brought her homemade etouffee – one of The Boy’s favorites.
- Friends brought coffee beans, jokes and supplies to make dinner.
- An old college friend has called every other day to check on The Boy and to keep his spirits up.
- Friends have sent text messages and called me to make sure my spirits are up.
- Without planning it this way, we referred to the #1 hand specialist in Dallas. She was so confident and reassuring that we couldn’t help but feel the same way.
- Three people who are affiliated with our running club work in day surgery and were there to help The Boy through recovery with humor and running stories.
- Our companies have been so so gracious, checking on us and sending Get Well cards.
- A friend sent an email that ended with “You are not alone.” She was right.
Alone is the enemy. Friends are the remedy.