As mentioned earlier, The Youngest and I went for a professional clothing fitting while she was visiting.
I feel the need to clarify that:
- We went for a particular type of clothing fitting… something foundational, you might say. And
- The Youngest is one of perhaps 3 people in my life that I would feel comfortable taking on this type of expedition.
Though slightly mortifying and infinitely more personal than I could have ever imagined, we had a good experience and learned a lot, to boot!
I had such a good experience that I decided to pick up a couple of items for myself. I handed over our debit card, which was quickly swiped while my purchases were wrapped in swathes of purple tissue paper and curling ribbon.
Your total was $238, the cashier says, smiling and handing me back my card.
In real-people land, I’m wondering how this woman can smile while delivering a financial stab to the heart of a once-happy shopper.
Oh, ok, I say, managing not to pass out on the spot.
By the way, she adds. Our policy is that purchases can be returned for exchange or store credit only. Thanks and have a great day! We’ll see you next time.
Yeah, right. You’ll see me next time if next time can be defined as in my next life.
On the way back to meet the boy, The Youngest asks how I’m going to tell him about my financial fiasco. I honestly don’t know. This has to be The Worst Thing Ever.
My immediate strategy – borne out of despair – is to say nothing.
It doesn’t work, of course. My purchase feels like a purple paper and ribbon wrapped elephant dancing around the room. I can’t eat dinner. I can hardly sleep. By the next morning, I was an absolute wreck.
Honey, I have to tell you something, I manage to tell the boy before starting to cry. I’ve done something awful and I just feel like I’ve failed you.
Him: What did you do?
Me: Well, I bought some things for myself. I know we didn’t really have money budgeted…and even if we did, we didn’t really have that kind of money budgeted.
Him: How much did you spend?
* Gulp. Pause. *
Me: Nearly $240.
Him: How many bras did you buy?!?
Me: That’s the worst part!! Only TWO!
My boy does love me. He simply laughed and gave me a hug. I’m not naive enough to believe he didn’t mind the expense. But he knew I truly was devastated by the whole experience.
The rest of The Youngest’s stay with us, the boy would pause while playing with the Wii and say:
You know, it would be really fun to own a Wii.
But Shannah had to buy a bra instead.
You could have just waited to see how long it took him to read your blog.
We could make a game of flinging the bras at the TV and come up with a scoring system-who knows, the cats may even want to join the fray.
Better throwing them at the TV than some of the options offered here at the office, including:
– a fruit carrier
– swing (support for each cheek!)
Sigh.
Of course, it was suggested that I should have just worn one to give you the bad news.
That is HILARIOUS! I'm laughing with you… WITH you!
This is TOO funny! What a great post! I love when you said you came to the worst part… saying how many you bought… and it was only 2 of them! LOL
I'm not gonna lie – they are the best bras I've ever owned.