Santa gave me a “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” daily calendar for Christmas.
Every day I rip off and read the wisdom it contains. Lately, I’ve had to restrain my desire to snort and say, “Yeah, right!” when I read it.
Really. Sometimes this calendar has a nugget that I really enjoy. Oftentimes it is full of self-righteous, give-me-a-break tripe.
Today is one of those days:
An argument is nothing more than two or more people trying to prove a position. (Comment from Shannah: Very true. Good reminder.) Let the other person win an argument for a change. (Comment from Shannah: Yeah, right. Whatever.)
If I was writing it, I would have ended it with:
Let the other person win an argument for a change, unless they are clearly in the wrong. Then don’t back down.
Many of my leadership mistakes have been made by letting others win an argument in an effort to get everyone on the same page – avoiding confrontation in a misguided effort to secure compromises to reach a mutual agreement. While I do believe it’s a Know when to hold ’em, Know when to fold ’em, kind of world, it’s a grave error to focus on ensuring happy feelings over making the correct decision.
There are times in life when you let others be right. (After all, I’m only practically perfect in every way.) There are also times in life when you have to stick to your guns.
I’ve seen major problems in IT when the wrong decision is allowed to percolate through the organization. It becomes like a cancer and eats away at the healthy tissue. So where you are the expert – I agree wholehearedly that one should stick to one’s guns and fight for what’s right.
But in politics, compromise is the art that enables things to get done. I give a little, you give a little – in the end we have laws and programs that no one thinks are perfect, but that everyone can come together and live with. And they generally work in the end. We are losing this in today’s polarized world because everyone thinks they are an expert on everything. The lack of humility among people is appalling.
You make an excellent point, Craig. There has been a push to win every battle, no matter what, for far too long in, I believe, both politics and religion.
A pastor from my childhood used to say:
In essentials, uniformity.
In non-essentials, freedom.
In all things, love.
Thanks! Sometimes I just have to get this out of my system. I pontificate on this topic every so often on my Governance Imperative blog, so it’s one of my soapbox issues. 🙂