We attended two big anniversary celebrations this past weekend in Tyler, Texas. The first marked the 50th wedding anniversary of my sister-in-law’s in-laws. The second marked the 160th anniversary of First Baptist Church Tyler. Those are some impressive numbers!!!
Overall, we had a good time. Things I will remember (in no particular order):
- My sister-in-law shouting “ONE MORE SONG!” to the band as the party wore down.
- My brother-in-law leading the conga line.
- Learning how to dance the jitterbug with my father-in-law.
- Watching my husband dance for hours despite having a marathon training run in the morning.
- Finding out that a family member of a family member is in the shoe business!!
- Hugging our dear friend, Margaret, widow of Kelly’s mentor, Zane.
- Saying, “Hi! It’s great to see you, too!!!” and whispering afterwards, “Do you know them? I don’t either!”
- Noticing that not all men are afraid to wear seersucker suits.
- Getting a new plant to replace the now-tossed onion plant on my desk at work.
Monday Rant and Rave:
The one thing that happened Sunday morning blew my mind. We sat and had an older couple join us. They had to be nearing their 80’s. As the six of us sat there having breakfast (parents, me and Shannah and this older couple) in church for the 160th year celebration-we began to make small talk. And then there was talk that made one small…
The old man asked us where we were from and we told him we were from Plano. Then, the most inappropriate thing came out of his mouth. He told a racial joke. Right there in front of four strangers in church.
“What do you call a “black” living in Plano?”
“A Plain ole N—–!”
Of course he laughed at his own joke. We all sat there in a moment of insecure silence-not knowing what to say. See, he was to old to throw something at or hit. And with where we were…it was just hard to know WHAT to do.
My instinct said to move tables-and in doing so, make a little bit of a scene. I did not want to embarrass the people I had with me. However, I really felt something needed to be said.
All I could say was, “Well, that really was not at all funny”
Grossly inadequate. I really wish I could have said, “Know what a bigot in Tyler is called? Just another ???hole”
Or I could have given the judgmental Christian comback—
“We can be sure no CHRISTIANS say that about blacks in Plano!”
I find I get most frustrated with myself when a moment comes and I think of what to say LATER.
It is like a line from one of the Pirates of the Caribean movies.
“I love those moments when you have the opportunity to do the right thing…I like to wave at them as they go by”
I feel that way at times because my brain does not react cleverly enough in the moment.
That situation still blows my mind as well. I never have had anyone tell me a racist joke before NOR have I had a total stranger tell me an inappropriate joke.
Shocking.
At least you were able to say something. I was only able to sit dumbfounded.
I should have said: What do you tell a racist bigot at a church service? Go wash your mouth out, pray for forgiveness and confess your struggles with racist attitudes to your pastor.