What’s made of plastic, migrates and knows how to irritate any human within 50 feet? My company’s Birthday Hamster.
This dilapidated creature joined our office sometime in 2002 or 2003. His original mission was to appear during monthly staff meeting and save us all the trouble of singing Happy Birthday. With a push of a button BH dances and sings Happy Birthday for you. Very fun! Very cute! The first two times. Maybe.
Some disturbed individual in our office soon decided that BH should take his show on the road. Instead of living at the office manager’s desk on non-staff meeting days, he began to live on the desk of the poor tormented soul who was celebrating his/her birthday. Anyone passing by the desk would know that a birthday was underway and could push BH’s button – as well as the birthday boy/girl’s – at will. To make matters worse, BH stays at your desk until the next UDG birthday.
BH has seen better days. One infuriated staffer, probably hitting the dreaded 4-0, tried to tear its head off. Unsuccessfully. On one bring-your-dog-to-work-for-overtime-weekend, a loyal UDG pooch attempted to chew BH’s left arm off. Unsuccessfully.
Now BH can really only dance the funky chicken and his vocal cords have seen better days.
I took a restroom break mid-morning and came back to find BH sitting next to my to-do files. My birthday isn’t until next Thursday!
CB, I know it was you. I saw what you did. I will find a way to get you back.
And for those of you who might have forgotten when my birthday was, you now have a week’s notice. You see what I did!!